Now Or Never; Go That Way.

I believe in love.
I believe in lust.
I believe in loyalty.
I believe in us.
I believe in happiness.
I believe in friendship.
I believe in me.
I believe in you.
I believe that good things will come to those that are positive and patient.
I believe in giving respect where respect is due.
I believe in working for what you want in life.
I believe that all good times balances itself with bad times.
I believe that everyone should experience a crush more than once in life.
I believe that butterflies in our stomach keeps us young.
I believe in Mr. Right.
I believe in Mr. Right Now.
I believe that Mr. Not Right should be appreciated for showing you what you don't want in a man.
I believe in retail therapy.
I believe in sisterhood.
I believe that looks can get you far.
I believe that smarts can get you further.
I believe in living a life you won't regret.
I believe that death is bittersweet.
I believe in trusting yourself.
I believe in trusting others...

But with all that said;
I don't believe in stupidity.
I don't believe in bull shit.
I don't believe in putting up with stupidity or bull shit.
And I don't believe in being fake or those who are fake.

So please, if you see me and I clearly don't want to put up with your shit; GOOOO THAAAT WAAAAYYY.

:)

Anyways,

Tank's album "Now or Never" is amazing!
His voice and his music reminds me of that old school R&B days..



Go out and buy it or just...
iNDULGE






BUT MORE RECENTLY LEAKED...
so in love with this one!

Betcha Didn't Know.

"Every woman has the exact love life she wants. When you're ready to let go, to be un-single and un-miserable, you will. Till then..."
- The Wedding Date.


As women, it is within our nature to be a little more melodramatic than men when it comes to certain life situations; don't deny it ladies, you have all spoken about life and love with an unnecessary amount of exaggeration and volume with your girls - it's alright, I'm just as guilty of this trait as you are.


You vent to your girl friends about fights and complications in great detail ad nauseam because it is the best form of therapy you could possibly have, especially knowing that their support and understanding will always be there, as well as their blunt honesty. You learn to listen to how others think, how you will have to accept that there will be various opinions and insights to your problems and that you, yes you, may not always be right. No, your reaction does not make you completely crazy... just.. out of line; BUT, men are just as wrong as we are so don't think I'm bashing on you, it's just easier for me to write this in a female's perspective.


It is common for one to sit and pick at a failed relationship after the fact. You begin to question what happened, what went wrong, what could've been done to prevent the damage, what could be done to saviour it and how you wish you could've went at it differently. You, also, begin to replay every event that has happened between the two of you, from the little insignificant moments to the great sacred moments. You begin to pick up traits of being bipolar and grow tired of this relentless battle within your head that all you want to do is find a way to be happy. The emotional side within the right half of your brain hangs on to all the memories, conversations, harboured feelings and thoughts of things returning, while your realistic side within the left half of your brain is telling you to let go and move the fuck on. Sound familiar?


With all that being said, realistically, none of it matters - it's all completely irrelevant. You can be there with all your friends, complain and tell the same stories you did yesterday verbatim and it still wouldn't change a thing. You are, both, at fault and not at fault for thinking, feeling and being the way you are; you can not help the way you feel. As long as you understand the fact that you will be as miserable as you want to be until you are ready to let it all go, then you will understand that you can be just as free and happy as you want to be when acceptance and the right time comes.


It's all a process of healing, accepting and realizing the truth, and the truth of the matter is, you are in control of the events within your life; of what will become your past, of what is to happen in your present, and of what will prevail in your future. You are your own god; the maker of all the good and the bad in your life; the writer of your own story. Become you and make your life happen.


I've always said to myself, "I can't wait for the day to come where you are just another guy to me..", the day I started to realize that it was happening - I was caught in the in-between. It's a bittersweet feeling. I can feel it slipping away from me and part of me is slowly jumping with joy and relief while the other half is sad to let it go; but it doesn't matter, for I am seeing it all so clearly - that it wasn't meant to be and he doesn't want a part of it anymore. It's okay. You meet someone, you grow on each other, you fall, shit happens, shit ends and you move on - it's life. I'm slowly reaching the point of self-liberation and I can't wait to get there. I say self-liberation because the only one controling my happiness and the only one I'm fighting with is myself. When I get there, I will wish you nothing but the best in love, life and happiness because that's truly all I want for you. Laugh, smile and have fun.. you deserve it.


And so, as I come to an end with my ranting, I hope you all understand that everything you go through in life; with every reaction, thought and lesson learned; it is all normal and okay if you learn to accept it for what it is and deal with it all in your own time, in your own way and in the healthiest manner possible. After all, we are only human.. and sometimes, we get a little crazy. Smile and laugh to the good times and accept that there will be bad times; and remember, there is always light at the end of the tunnel, just don't ever doubt or give up on yourself.





That's all for this week folks, hope you enjoyed this one. Until next week!

&&&&& a throw back for the road? ♥

Long Way Down.

First blog of 2011; It's a new year, I'm a new age and it's a new opportunity for life experiences! I hope you all had a great night bringing in the new year and I hope that this year will be even better than the last for you.


So far, it's been an eventful first week of January. New Years eve was fun at Atlantis, we had a hilarious journey back home after and we were surrounded by the ones that mattered so it was a good night. Girls night out, guys night in, and just recently.. my birthday :) A great night filled with positive energy, close friends, good music and plenty of bottles of alcohol... and I mean plenty. I can honestly tell you that it was one of our best nights out, and not just for me, for absolutely everyone who attended. There wasn't any anger, any drama or any hostility - just a bunch of smiling faces having fun while dancing their drunken asses off. Perfect night. Shout out to all the guys who came out and to all my girls who made it everything it was. Happy birthday to HC, E, Keke & JUST BE CUZ.. Happy birthday to all my sexy Capricorns, get it in bitches!


With so much happening in life, you tend to forget about the simpler things. I hate being reminded of things that I should always know with tragedy, but sometimes that's the only way to snap back. Lost a co-worker last night, who was my other co-worker's long term partner, in an accident. All I can think about is how much pain and heartbreak she's going through with such a tragic loss. My heart goes out to her.. Our lives are so fragile, so easily taken away from us and we seem to always lose sight of what matters the most and what to cherish everyday - don't wait until it's too late. Don't live with regrets. Don't argue over stupidity. Don't wait for nothing. Don't jump to conclusion. Don't settle for less. Don't let life pass you by. Do what you have to do to make your life worthy - you are capable of having everything you want if you go for it.


So it is time for me to grow, to let go, and to become. Clear out that old baggage and start fresh - with "new bones in your closet" - like Aaliyah said. I'm really tired of the same shit so I'm really going to try and change things - everything just seems like a long never ending story that needs to end. I hate being the last one to fuck off on shit, SO.. I am going to do my best to not fall to my weakness and stand with my strength. And I hope some miracle helps me because I've yet to do what I know is best for me; probably because i'm an idiot who won't listen to my own conscience. This person I've become, makes me sick lol.


Anyways, I'm going to end this post with a few pics from New Years and my birthday.
I'm living the life I want to live and I'm happy. Thank you to all that makes my life and happiness possible.
Shout out to the menz, shout out to my girls, shout out to those who have helped me grow..
&& shout out to my stalkers who love my dick. Yes, I said. Choke on that, tricks :)

♥NYE:


BDAY♥:




&&&
&
&
&
&



Keyshia Cole..♥

Go, Cinderella!

JANUARY


Firstly, I would like to say happy holidays and Merry Christmas to everyone. As you can clearly see, I've been slacking big time on my blog for the month of December, given that it's a busy month. I hope you all got what you wished for and more this Christmas; I hope you all had great turkey dinners and got as fat as I did; and I hope you all made memories with the people you love and care for this holiday.



FEBRUARY


So, this is it everyone. This week is the last week of 2010 - how do you plan on spending it? A lot has happened this year - what was your most memorable event? Plenty of ups and downs, trial and triumphs, gains and losses - do you have any regrets? A new beginning is coming up - what do you plan on achieving in 2011? New lessons in life and love - what have you learned about yourself and others? Have you found yourself? Do you know what you want?



MARCH


Truthfully speaking, 2010 has been good to me. I've been blessed with a lot more sunny days than cloudy ones and I have my friends and family to thank for that. This year, I was more focused on the goal of keeping myself happy, no matter what.. and I think I can say that I've done well with that goal throughout the year. I've met a lot of people this year, plenty of new faces and places.. some stayed for the season, some I met for a reason and some that will last a lifetime.



APRIL


A lot of trips to the US this year with the girls and during those trips we've met a few great people who we now call friends. It all began with the New York trip to The Heights to see Jbear, where we spent new years eve in Brooklyn, my birthday in Queens for Pio Pio and in Manhattan to party with the boys from Halos and 1Luv; another trip back to New York with our girls for their first time on Family Day where we roamed the streets of Harlem, partied all over and met the rest of the Halos crew; a much needed trip back out to Miami for P & I, and the first for my A-Team, to attend WMC where we partied with our NYC crew and met more interesting people; New York in July with my BFF; and lastly, another trip out to NY, my home away from home, with my BFF and my BOO in October. I hope 2011 is just as great!



MAY


For the majority of this year, we were all single and painting our city RED with trouble and mischief. Every weekend was filled with a funny ass story, nights out made memorable due to our hilarious ways, shenanigans galore and more. The pizza store fight on my birthday when P actually said "Hold My Purse" before she knocked some dude in the face (LMAO), the invention of signals and bird calls with the girls (caCAWW!), the night H finally finished her university program and we took her ass out to celebrate... (cough, cough LOL), pool parties and boat cruises, New York nights out, birthday nights are always something, fishing trips, camping trips, balloon fights, yard nights and summer nights.. just to name a few.



JUNE


Lost a couple and gained a few this year; all without regrets. A year filled with newfound friendships, rekindling of older friendships and new loves - but it wasn't all smiles and laughter, I definitely hit a couple bumps along the way.. maybe a few BUT who's counting anyways. Every love and heartache is a lesson to be learned in itself, and you always get an opportunity to embrace that lesson or to be blinded by it all and repeat it. I seem to be one of those people who learn the lesson and end up repeating it... I'm an idiot, I know haha. There was, at one point, a month of drama but we gained a great friend in the end.. and this certain someone, who shall remain nameless, couldn't be anymore of a perfect fit with us. We got you, boo :)



JULY


Went through a lot as a person this year and with some things that dragged on from 2009. I'm proud with the person that I am and with the person I have become. What, a few, of you still don't seem to understand is that I am the way I am; quirks, loudness, aggression, profanity, bluntness, laughter, jokes, love, hate, rudeness, niceness and it all.. and It is what it is. Don't try to change me because I sure as hell won't for you and I know that I don't try to change any of your asses. You are the way you are and I accept you with your flaws and all - why is it so hard for you to do the same for me? Suck it up buttercup, I was born this way and I'll be going out this way. Will I ever change? Probably with certain traits but that's in due time.. for now, you're either with me or you're bitching outside my bubble, and frankly, both sound fan-fuckin'-tastic to me!



AUGUST


I think what I love the most out of all that has happened in 2010 is being able to see all of my girls happy. I'm not even saying that to sound cliche or to gloat but I can truly say that every single one of my girls are happy. They're all having fun, they're all with great guys, they're all smiling without regrets and that makes my heart smile; that fact, alone, beats all the nights out and all the trips combined. I know that if I ever need my girls, they'll be here for me in a heart beat and thus far, they haven't let me down. I'm blessed and I'm thankful for the girls I got rollin with me; for my truthful and loyal ones; for my new and old ones; for my girl out west to my girls out east. All I need in this life of sin are me and my girlfriends - down to ride to the very end.. PN, MR, LC, LN, HC, BG, RS, AS (Ms. MIA) & RS.



SEPTEMBER


I'm hoping that the upcoming new year will be just as great and eventful as this year. I pretty much know what I want to do, where I want to go, what I want to gain and lose and what needs to be done to get what I want. I'm hoping that I grow with friends and let go of enemies (i.e.; chihuahuas that bark and don't bite) and I'm hoping to grow, more than I already have, as a person. I want to live with no regrets and I want to live in the moment, but most of all and most importantly, I just want to be happy - mentally, emotionally, wholeheartedly. Make me happy.



OCTOBER


With Christmas out of the way and New Years tickets already in hand, the last things I have to worry about in 2010 is the purchase of a nice NYE dress and the planning of my birthday. I cannot wait for the holidays to end and I cannot wait to start a new year. Hello 2011 and goodbye 2010; I won't forget ya, I'll try not to miss ya, but I got to let you go. It's time to write a new and better chapter filled with fun, and as Mona likes to say, "Good people, good music, good times." Let's keep implenting that motto into our lives.



NOVEMBER


New memories with new faces, a new year with a new age to experience; I'm ready for ya. I need to pick and plan my birthday, still deciding on a venue and on a suitable night - I just want a night of fun and no drama.. perhaps a cake, champagne and ticket to brazil? Haha I'm kidding. Everyone says I'm quarter way through my life and they ask me how it feels.. I tell them It feels the same and I feel like I'm more at the mid-life crisis point. Time to get me a blonde bitch and a sports car! Mama asked me what I wanted for my birthday and I told her nothing, what I have is enough... then of course she laughed and asked me what I really wanted, and I told her the winning lottery ticket haha. Daddy asked if I was happy, I said I was content. Brother asked me if I was good and I said as good as I can be. I will get to where I'm going; I'm not in a race to get there because If I speed past my present, I'll regret looking back to nothing. You know?



DECEMBER


2010 was filled with a lot of "I love you, I loved you, I will love you", "I hate you, I hated you, I will hate you", "I miss you, I've missed you, I will miss you" and "I don't regret you". History will always repeat itself, it's just the way life works. I hope 2011 will bring more loving and missing and less hating and words of regrets. I wish you all a year filled with new life experiences and lessons; I wish you all the opportunities to grow as a person and to learn things about yourself that you've never known; I wish you the ability to let go and let in; I wish you a safe Winter, a spontaneous Spring, a daring Summer and an easy Fall; I wish you all happiness in love, adrenaline in lust, strength in pain, confidence in dares and trust in honesty; I wish you well and I wish you the best. I hope that this blog post will suffice from what I lacked thereof in December. Thank you all for being here with me and for reading with me thus far :)





The next time you read my shit, it will be 2011.. so I want to finish off by saying HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Kiss that person when it hits midnight and smile - a whole new year awaits you.

I love you to my close ones;
& I loathe you to my haters.
If you plan to ride my ass on my every move, at least pull my hair; make it somewhat enjoyable for me, you vultures!




Anyways, you know the deal;
comment, hate me, love me, date me
-- or you can do what you do best and stalk me from a far, perves lol.

&&& IM OUT!! GET OFF ME SON!!

Endings & New Beginnings.

2010 will be a thing of the past; new faces, new life lessons, new everything.
Big talk last night, thank you for those who helped.
Delete all evidence of existence and events; get out of my head.
I know I've been doing the same song and dance and I apologize to those who had to keep seeing it.
Done wit' it, dead that track and I'm throwing out the CD.
January 2011, I will be how I use to be.. and if y'all don't like it, well damn, tough fucking luck.
Been barking, time to bite; I ain't a bitch nigga.
Ready for the new year, tell it to hurry up.





This Is The Last Hangover;
Big tune - I love Keyshia for these type of tracks.

&
&
&
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO BG AND TN!

LOVE YOU BOTH VERY MUCH!

Shout out to MYYYYUUTTTTE; Shout out to TG; Shout out to my BFFS;
& always, of course; Shout out to my haters, creepers and stalkers - yall keep me on point ;)

Now fuck off & and fuck on.