- The Wedding Date.
As women, it is within our nature to be a little more melodramatic than men when it comes to certain life situations; don't deny it ladies, you have all spoken about life and love with an unnecessary amount of exaggeration and volume with your girls - it's alright, I'm just as guilty of this trait as you are.
You vent to your girl friends about fights and complications in great detail ad nauseam because it is the best form of therapy you could possibly have, especially knowing that their support and understanding will always be there, as well as their blunt honesty. You learn to listen to how others think, how you will have to accept that there will be various opinions and insights to your problems and that you, yes you, may not always be right. No, your reaction does not make you completely crazy... just.. out of line; BUT, men are just as wrong as we are so don't think I'm bashing on you, it's just easier for me to write this in a female's perspective.
It is common for one to sit and pick at a failed relationship after the fact. You begin to question what happened, what went wrong, what could've been done to prevent the damage, what could be done to saviour it and how you wish you could've went at it differently. You, also, begin to replay every event that has happened between the two of you, from the little insignificant moments to the great sacred moments. You begin to pick up traits of being bipolar and grow tired of this relentless battle within your head that all you want to do is find a way to be happy. The emotional side within the right half of your brain hangs on to all the memories, conversations, harboured feelings and thoughts of things returning, while your realistic side within the left half of your brain is telling you to let go and move the fuck on. Sound familiar?
With all that being said, realistically, none of it matters - it's all completely irrelevant. You can be there with all your friends, complain and tell the same stories you did yesterday verbatim and it still wouldn't change a thing. You are, both, at fault and not at fault for thinking, feeling and being the way you are; you can not help the way you feel. As long as you understand the fact that you will be as miserable as you want to be until you are ready to let it all go, then you will understand that you can be just as free and happy as you want to be when acceptance and the right time comes.
It's all a process of healing, accepting and realizing the truth, and the truth of the matter is, you are in control of the events within your life; of what will become your past, of what is to happen in your present, and of what will prevail in your future. You are your own god; the maker of all the good and the bad in your life; the writer of your own story. Become you and make your life happen.
I've always said to myself, "I can't wait for the day to come where you are just another guy to me..", the day I started to realize that it was happening - I was caught in the in-between. It's a bittersweet feeling. I can feel it slipping away from me and part of me is slowly jumping with joy and relief while the other half is sad to let it go; but it doesn't matter, for I am seeing it all so clearly - that it wasn't meant to be and he doesn't want a part of it anymore. It's okay. You meet someone, you grow on each other, you fall, shit happens, shit ends and you move on - it's life. I'm slowly reaching the point of self-liberation and I can't wait to get there. I say self-liberation because the only one controling my happiness and the only one I'm fighting with is myself. When I get there, I will wish you nothing but the best in love, life and happiness because that's truly all I want for you. Laugh, smile and have fun.. you deserve it.
And so, as I come to an end with my ranting, I hope you all understand that everything you go through in life; with every reaction, thought and lesson learned; it is all normal and okay if you learn to accept it for what it is and deal with it all in your own time, in your own way and in the healthiest manner possible. After all, we are only human.. and sometimes, we get a little crazy. Smile and laugh to the good times and accept that there will be bad times; and remember, there is always light at the end of the tunnel, just don't ever doubt or give up on yourself.
That's all for this week folks, hope you enjoyed this one. Until next week!
&&&&& a throw back for the road?
Wow. I just felt like the room spun and warped me to where i could hear u saying this. lol Im also smoking a joint. Thank u- verry well said - the logic of it all. voice to the masses.
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