I remember when life used to be so simple; before it all started. I remember when the only worry in the world was wondering if M was allowed to come out and play, or if we could be cool enough to play with our older brothers and cousins for that day; who's going to be "it" for red rover, man hunt or red ass; if we can get a $2 bill (remember those?) for ice cream when the ice cream truck would come; or who can build the best igloo or tire fort when it came time to, if we were going to set up booby traps in the apple club... stupid things like that.
I remember roaming the streets of Toronto at night, not comprehending the presence of possible danger, hiding with M from our siblings for man hunt. I remember how we got in shit one time and we decided to run away.. I was so outraged that all I packed was juice and carried my mini cage with my pet rat (that's right, pet rat) and ran away to the park, hiding within the trees when we heard our parents coming for us (yes, true story.. and yes, we got our asses beat hard).
Chapters IX-XIV;
I remember my first time experiencing a crush, I remember my first time getting crushed and I remember drinking my first cream soda Crush hahaha. I remember moving out of the city to some town I had no idea how to pronounce. I remember hating life for the first year or two and I remember how happy I was to learn that my best friend would be joining me in the boonies. I remember meeting my soul mates and growing with them for the next decade.. and no they aren't men, they're my BFFs.
I remember getting into some trouble as a young teen, hardly home, always sleeping over with P & M. I remember the shananigans with the boys, the fights, the parties and the chilling sessions. I remember the missions of busing eeeeverywhere and the long rides home. I remember spending so much money on cabs just to visit my boys for the weekend.
Chapters XV-XVIII;
I remember when life started to throw lessons my way; where it all began. I remember my first boyfriend. I remember my first (and only to be honest) real relationship. I remember what it felt like to fall so deep in love without any fear, doubt or hesitation that I felt like I could take on the world with him by my side. I remember all the ups and downs, the trials and triumphs, the deep love and hate, the heavy knotted pains and the euphoric mesmerizing highs.
I remember the point where I realized that, even though I loved him with all that I was composed of, the best thing for me to do was to let him go. I remember how I felt like I was dying after I left, I remember feeling weak without his comfort and presence, I remember wanting to relapse and run back, I remember the struggles of letting go, I remember the feeling of accomplishment when I started to become my own person and I remember feeling content and satisfied when I was reborn. I remember finding out about his death and feeling guilty. I remember learning to let him go with all faults, his and mine, and I remember knowing that it's going to be okay, eventually, in time. I'm still trying, almost a year..
Chapters XIX-XXI;
I remember when life slowly started to make sense to me; the acceptance in it all. I remember becoming my own person, realizing that I didn't need a boyfriend to make myself happy. I remember the happiness I felt learning and discovering little bits & pieces, traits and secrets about myself. I remember truly bonding with my girls, evolving from a couple dozen acquainted tweens to a dozen close teens to a solid sisterhood of 7 women.
I remember fucking up on a lot of things and having support on getting myself back. I remember not truly acknowledging my responsibilities, only to finally accept them now. I remember taking in the fact that life will happen with or without me and that it will turn out the way I want it to turn out. I remember telling myself that I need to make myself happy, I need to do what I want to do in life and it won't happen with one foot outside the door.. I hear a funny hesitation of a heart that's never really sure.....hahaha dead iiiit. I remember taking many trips with my RODC and BFFs, all the while subconciously, becoming the woman I am destined to be; one in a million.
Chapter XXII;
I remember everyone that I've met and shared memories with. I appreciate all of you that I've crossed paths with or am still on with; surely, you must know that every little thing you've all done and said to me has contributed into making me who I am today. The bitch, cool one, pleasant one, rude one, snobby one, funny one, crazy one, wild one, fighting one, loving one, loud one, quiet one, emotional one, heartless one, ride or die one, leave me out your bullshit one, talkative one (clearly), loyal one, etc... A chick with many attributes.
Currently; Family. BFFs. You. SFFs. Them. NYC...
Uptown. Downtown. What now? Downtown...
Drama. Creepers. Adventures. Laughter...
Memories of January, February, March, April, May, June, JULY, AUGUST, SEPTEMBER...
.............. *Flips to new page*
Ima bring it back to one of my all time favs...
Bobby Valentino - Turn The Page
Comment, hate me, love me, date me - do all 4, we'll make a baby.... LOL NOT!!
Do you & I'll do me. Love my life and everything in it.
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& Hi....hehehe!
ps: TipZ RuleZ!!! LC we WINNING!!!!
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